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captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause) >> jon: hey! welcome to "the daily show"! my name is jon stewart. oh, we got a good one tonight. my guest tonight, new york mets pitcher and recent cy young recipient-- cy young recipient-- r.a. dickey is going to be joining us on the program. (cheers and applause) the man. may be the first guest in the history of this program to be traded while i am talking to him. (laughter) they may just -- they may come in and take him away. (laughter) i think i'll ask him what race he'd like to be. (laughter)
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somebody asked me that before the show started. (laughter) we were talking before the show started and everybody's got a question and "who would win in a fight, frog or shark?" that kind of thing. someone just said to me "what race would you be if you could be -- i mean, obviously a jew is fine but, i mean -- if you had a chance, i mean, wouldn't you go asian just for a day?" (laughter) (cheers and applause) it's fine. they're nice people! they're casting a benton add and they needed -- it's actually a perfect way to get into a program tonight. we begin with the ongoing negotiations to save our economy or, as we're calling it, cliffpocalypsemageddonacaust. (laughter) our totally solveable budget problem.
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(laughter) >> jon: that's scary. four weeks! four weeks, ladies and gentlemen just 20 -- some days. (laughter) our country will be heading over the fiscal cliff that we ourselves dug and put in our way. it's the set of automatic spending cuts and tax hikes that can only be averted if our nation's leaders are able to display bare-bones competence and middle school level maturity. (laughter) so the there a deal. >> there's, of course, no deal. >> jon: of course! is there there a prospect for a deal? >> there's not a prospect for a deal. >> jon: of course! (laughter)
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but the ongoing talks -- >> there aren't even very many talks going on. (laughter) >> jon: damn! you're kidding us! give us something! >> but for the first time there are numbers on pieces of paper from both sides. >> jon: numbers on paper! (cheers and applause) we have numbers on paper! from both sides! (whispering snvpld we're all going to be okay. (laughter) how were -- numbers on paper. how were negotiations being conducted before they decided to put numbers on paper? (laughter) were they communicateding by pheromones like aunts? (laughter) vanity cards? is that how this was going? were the two sides just spray painting a side and hoping it wanders past the other side's office or other equally absurd
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examples? so tell us about this paper with numbers on them. >> $4 trillion of deficit reduction over the next ten years. itncludes $1.6 trillion in higher taxes on households making more than $250,000 a year. there's also $400 billion in cuts to entiementprograms. there's apls also some fresh n ending. $50 billion next year in stimulus spending,all for infrastruct n:oh green john likeou. a right, so we got a little x cut hike here, a little entitlement trim there. basically telling the government it needs a mix of diet and exercise ii want f it wants to reduce itshances of succumbing to heart disease or prostate -- christ, i just turned 50. (lghter) no, i'm sorry. basically this plan is around somewhat what obama said he was going to do about the budget while he was on the campaign
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trail. so i guess we can put that another way. >> the proposal that came forward yesterday really is a joke. >> i'm not surprised at my colleague, senator mcconnell laughed at that proposal. >> the president's plan does nothing but damn to us becoming gree. >> disappointing. >> disappointed. >> i'meally disappointed. (laughter) >> jon: really? because you don't sound that disappointed, quite frankly. do you want to know what disappointed sounds like? >> disappointed! (applause) >> jon: that guy's clearly disappointed. even though that might have been what from what i understand at the internet a stage direction. he just happened to say it outloud. i don't know if that's true but why not spread it as far as i can. to their credit, the republicans didn't just complain about the president's plan, they put forward on paper numbers of their own. >> you see the offer on your gene, $800 through tax reform,
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$600 billion in health savings, $300 billion in mandatory savings, $300 billion further discretionary savings that nets to $2.2 trillion in savings. >> jon: all right, all right. so the g.o.p. proposal is adding up towards $1.2 trillion in cuts and a trillion in savings and they leave the tax rates alone for the top 2% and they -- wait a minute. (laughter) the fiscal cliff, the thing we're trying to avoid, at $1.2 trillion in cuts, half of those cuts were going to be to defense. this has $1.2 trillion in cuts but they're just saying why don't we make the whole thing cut to entitlements and domestic spending and not cut defense at all? basically they're trying to entice the democrats. they're saying i don't want you to fall off this cliff, so why don't you voluntarily jump off this steeper cliff. (laughter) but dent worry, your fall will be cushioned by lava. (laughter)
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now, obviously it's a negotiation, people take a hard-line position. with the tax rate being the lowest in america since the 1950s, most likely we'll raise the tax for the up 2er% at some point, right? >> raising tax rates is unacceptable. >> jon: okay. so what exactly is your idea of the a negotiation? >> the president's idea of a negotiation is "roll over and do what i ask." (laughter) >> jon: at least once he has you on your back he asks. (laughter) i can't wait till -- (applause) they're applauding the lack of rape. (laughter) (applause) now they're just mimicking me.
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(laughter) (laughter) i cannot wait until the democrats get ahold of this republican proposal. they are going to tear it to shreds. >> the good news is they put something in writing. the bad news is it doesn't really get us in the moving -- moving forward. >> the republican plan failed the very first test of fairness. >> unfortunately, the speaker's proposal right now is still out of balance. (laughter) >> jon: "out of balance"? where's your hysterical rhetoric. where's your "i laughed in their (bleep)ing faces!" where is your "disappointed!" where is your "this proposal is an insult! this proposal will destroy america! this proposal is like stalin (bleep) ago bald eagle!" (laughter)
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i will guarantee you stalin was a harrier dude than that. guarantee it. (laughter) you know what? maybe it's time to stop the back-and-forth of offers. it's clear republicans aren't going to come to the table with anything remotely reasonable so i'll be the one to say it: i know it will be disastrous, i know it will doom our economy for years to come, but let's just go over the (bleep)ing cliff. fine. let's just go. just leave the negotiating table and send us over the cliff. because you know why? at least for a few seconds it will feel like we're flying. (laughter and applause) we'll be right back.
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>> jon: hey, welcome back! i hope you know the 2012 election was in large part a fight over demographics. the republicans taking pains even if at their convention to highlight the gender and ethnic diversity their party has traditionally done so well disguising. (laughter) and yet they lost. for some reason-- self-deportation-- president obama won a clear majority. -- the country half moochers-- (laughter) of over non-white group. even amongst women. vaginas repel rape sperm. (laughter) romney somehow lost by 11
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points. it's a fact republicans can't ignore if they want to win back the white house in two thousand and ever. (laughter) no band-aid solutions. g.o.p. can't just throw in a free pedicure every mandatory ultrasound and call it a day. we're talking about making a real place for minorities and women in a modern republican party and i think the republican that. i assue.n >> in washington tonight, the g.o.p. is dealing with the issue of optics and diversityn politics, getting a lot of coverage of cssio coee cirs select us ar forhe next congress. they are all white males. (audience reacts) >> oh, iuess they all look alikeo you, lliams. (laughter) i'll ha you kw, there is a great deal of diversity and variety in that group. for instance, with these three gentlemen alone look like the kind of guys who would sell you
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three very different types of insurance. (laughter) and look at this guy! paul ryan! that guy's god a widow's peak. that's weird. that's different. and that guy, sure, he looks like your average localnews anchor. but that other guy near him looks like your average sports announcer. (laughter) so the bland white guy with glasses, that guy's nearsighted but this other guy with glasses, that guy's got astigmatism. there's no -- what's that? really, near sighted as well? (bleep). all right. well at least with that many dudes in the group statistically speaking at least one of them's got to be gay. (laughter) (applause) where is waldo? (laughter) but instead, instead all the media's all hyperfocused "there's no latinos or blacks or women or asians." there's got to be a good reason. >> the leadership points out they were selected for a reason,
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including seniority. >> there's about 20 women in the republican house caucus and nine of them were elected in 2010 and 2012. >> jon: so it's seniority? let me get this straight. the party that hates the teachers unions gives chairmanships based on tenure? (laughter) look, it's a republican house. no media mob of p.c. diversity cops is going tell how speaker john baner what to do. >> congresswoman can days miller of michigan will chair the house administration committee. >> jon: we got one! whoo! a lady with lady parts! she will be the chair of the house administration committee whose responsibilities apparently range from making congress more open and accessible to ensuring the house runs efficiently and smoothly. (audience reacts) (laughter) so we've got a woman to be-- to
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coin a phrase-- the housewife. (laughter) problem solved. we'll be right back. (cheers and applause) úáé!é!é!é!&íki÷z÷z-a
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(cheers and applause) >> jon: my guest tonight is 2012 cy young award winner. his new book is called "wherever i wind up" and he's the subject in the documentary film "knuckleball." >> you're considered a fluke is
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basically what it comes down to. i want to combat that because i think it's a very valid pitch. >> >> r.a. is committed to proving that it's not a gimmick. that it's-- to use one of his favorite words-- authentic. and i think he's really on a mission to prove the legitimacy of the knuckleball. >> jon: sweet! please welcome r.a. dickie dickey. (cheers and applause) thank you for being here. (applause) what a pleasure to have you on the show. congratulations. the cy young award, new york obviously embraces -- (cheers and applause)
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this tremendous story, this tremendous success i guess my question is "how will the new york mets screw this up?" (laughter) >> i'm hoping to be here, man. i will have it here. >> jon: that would be very nice. we would enjoy that. (applause) it does create a dilemma because when a player such as yourself comes along and has such grand success there is in the back of your mind a feeling of, like, no no, dude, don't win the cy young because if you do they will sell you on the open market. (laughter) you want to be good but not so great. >> well, i've been thankful, i didn't have that thought. i was going for it the whole time. but he's got a job to do, he's paid to make the mets better. i've got to be as professional i can, understand that. >> jon: it must be tremendous pressure to have your name being
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written about as someone who may have to move. you've got a family, you've got a life. is that a difficult thing to -- >> it's hard. baseball in general is so dysfunctional as a life-style. you play in 162 games in 183 days and not to mention spring training is another 40 days. so the thought of taking your family to toronto or l.a., that takes a lot of thought power, you know? >> jon: i've always thought it's strange. you're a grown man with pinstripes and guys are throwing things at 100 miles an hour at your head and you just -- what is the down time in these cities? especially for a pitcher? >> well, if we are a three-game set against the nationals in washington, it's a great city, so i might go see a museum or i'll try to explore the culture of the city. if i'm not pitching that day. but you're at the park for a 7:00 game, i'm never at the park any later than 2:30. i mean, i'm trying to prepare
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for what i have to do in a couple days. >> jon: do a lot of guys go out and see the museums or -- (laughter) when you come back are they all like "hey, poindexter, what's going on?" (laughter) >> they respect their elders, it's okay. >> jon: that's an interesting point. so here's what's on -- it's incredible enough that a new york mets pitcher wins 20 games which hasn't been done since frank viola in 1980 something. you won the cy young award but you did it at you're 38 years old mastering a pitch that so few pitchers can master they've made a documentary about the maybe six or seven of you that have been able to pitch professionally at that level with that pitch. >> you know, it's funny, my career has been circuitous and the way i've gotten to the big lesion so it's almost poetic the way that i've embraced the
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knuckleball and my career trajectory has been almost knuckleballish. >> jon: right. >> it's nice to be at a peak, i can tell you. >> jon: the other knuckleballers in the fraternity, when they saw you arrive on the scene how did they show themselves? do you get a call and does a guy stand with a raincoat like "file those nails, kid, file those nails." how do they reach out to you? >> you know, i reached out to them. the knuckleball fraternity is so tight and the bond is to so strong because when you're trying to do something as throw a knuckleball there's only a few people that have walked the earth that have done what you're trying to do. so i was so fortunate to be expose pod-to-what i call the j.d. di council of knuckleballers. (laughter) i have tim wakefield and charlie huff and phil niekro. >> jon: can curve guys get in there or when they come are
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people like "yeah, that's great, sonny?" is that not considered the pure pitch. >> it's a different pitch all together. it's not even the same category, really. i'm trying to take spin completely off the ball. with the knuckle curve you're still trying to manipulate the spin to get the break that you want. but the knuckleball you're taking it off in hopes that the chaos of the movement of the pitch is going to be enough to upset their timing and rhythm of the hitter. >> jon: and you throw it ten to 15 miles an hour harder than anybody else has thrown it. you're throwing in the 80s, yes? there are major league pitchers throwing their regular stuff in the 80s, you're throwing knuckleballs in the -- is that what makes yours so difficult on these hitters? >> most guys throwing in the 80s aren't throwing very long, unfortunately. that's why i became a knuckleballer because i had -- my conventional repertoire had depleted to the point where if i was going to stay a big-leaguer i had to come up with a weapon i could get guys out with. the knuckleball was my ticket. >> jon: you don't have like --
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you're missing ligaments in your elbow and you don't have -- there's no bone there, it's just -- you just flop it around? something going on in there -- >> i'm plastic man. i can -- i have've got no ligament in my right elbow. so that coupled with being a knuckleballer i should be able to pitch until i'm 70 or 80, probably. (cheers and applause) >> jon: audience likes that, can you stick around for a little bit? >> sure. >> jon: "knuckleball" the d.v.d. is available through itunes. you can get the book "wherever i wind up" is on the bookshelves now.
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(cheers and applause) >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is, your moment of zen. >> gender-neutral easy bake oven all because her little brother wanted one. because he likes to cook and he likes to bake but it's like they only have boys in the commercial so i want to play a little soundbite of tha captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh ♪ chappelle's show, chappelle's show ♪ ♪ chappelle's show ♪ chappelle's show ♪ chappelle's show ♪ ow!
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